Tell Your Best Joke
- Thread starter Stizzla
- Start date
Ugly Betty
Active Member
Totally unexpected
Well-Known Member
Sex is like a misdameaner....
Da more i miss..da mesner i get!!
Da more i miss..da mesner i get!!
Rickeoni
Member
SpringFever552
Well-Known Member
Sharphooks
Well-Known Member
The explorer busts through the jungle and comes across a Pygmy standing next to a dead elephant in a clearing.
Wow, he says, How did you pull that off?
Got it with my club, says the Pygmy
That must be one helluva club, says the explorer. How big is your club?
There’s about 150 of us, says the Pygmy.
Wow, he says, How did you pull that off?
Got it with my club, says the Pygmy
That must be one helluva club, says the explorer. How big is your club?
There’s about 150 of us, says the Pygmy.
Sir Reel
Well-Known Member
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ? Where do they go?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
Then, they kick him in the ice hole.
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
Then, they kick him in the ice hole.
Sir Reel
Well-Known Member
Dad Jokes!
I did not want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a roadworker, but when I got home all the signs were there.
I think my calendar is trying to kill me. My days are numbered.
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short
I had someone knock on my door last night looking for a small donation to a local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
My wife tripped and fell while carrying a basket of freshly ironed shirts. I watched it all unfold.
Wife tried to convince me that one day we'd be making phone calls and sending messages from wrist-mounted devices....not on my watch I said!
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
My friend said to me, "what rhymes with orange" I said, "no, it does not."
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, no one is laughing now.
I did not want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a roadworker, but when I got home all the signs were there.
I think my calendar is trying to kill me. My days are numbered.
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short
I had someone knock on my door last night looking for a small donation to a local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
My wife tripped and fell while carrying a basket of freshly ironed shirts. I watched it all unfold.
Wife tried to convince me that one day we'd be making phone calls and sending messages from wrist-mounted devices....not on my watch I said!
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
My friend said to me, "what rhymes with orange" I said, "no, it does not."
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, no one is laughing now.
Reelin In The Years
Well-Known Member
That would make a great T-Shirt!
Burrow boy
Active Member
Snow white was fired today. seems they at Disney has strict rules and her and Pinocchio got in a dispute and took it to a wrestle .with snow on top of Pinocchio's face saying"you lie"
