Tell Your Best Joke

My buddy in Ottawa just sent this to me.

Government of Canada Seniors Stimulus Package

Just wanted to let you know….I just received my Government of Canada Seniors Stimulus Package

It contained two tomato seeds, pancake mix, two discount coupons to KFC, a “Trudeau Build Back Better” bumper sticker, a prayer rug, a Trudeau Speech Decoder Ring, a machine to blow smoke up my *****, and a “Blame it on Alberta” poster for the front yard.

The directions were entirely in French

Yours should arrive soon...
 
likes.jpg
 
Looks like she wins for size.

She has a nice bass.
 
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She's single...
She lives right across the road.
I can see her place from my deck.

I watched as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway and knocked on my door.

I rushed to open it; she looks at me and says,
"I just got home, and I am so in the mood!
I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make out all night long!
Are you busy tonight?"

I quickly replied, "Nope, I'm free, and I have no plans at all!"

She said, "Great! Could you watch my dog?”

Being a senior citizen sucks!
 
The Love Song of T.M. Carlson


This is chaos
This is shocking
This is bizarre
This is scary
This is a lie
This is a racist lie
This is a grotesque and filthy lie
This is the most deranged story in history
*
This is pure absurdity
This is true insanity
This is hilariously idiotic
This is insultingly ridiculous
This is one of the worst stories of our time
This is the cruelest thing any president has ever done
This is what the collapse of civilization looks like
This is a disaster
*
This is the road to chaos and collapse
This is nuts and no one seems to care
We’re watching civilization collapse in real time
You are watching the death of the future of our country
Why does no one in Washington consider this a crisis?
What the hell is going on here?
There is only one word to describe this
This is dark

*
It’s hard to believe this is real
It’s hard to believe this is happening
It’s hard to overstate what a momentous change this is
This is worse than we thought
We are led by buffoons; everything they touch turns to chaos
They won’t admit they are wrong and don’t care what you think.

*
They are hoarding baby formula
This is horrible for all of us.
This is a middle finger in your face
This is why they are attacking Queen Elizabeth II
This is an effort to degrade the country
This is a clear indication of things unraveling
This is the behavior of a failed state

This is all totally pointless and I quit.
 
^ Waiting for him to announce he is "leaving so I can spend more time with family."
 
Sharphooks said:
The Love Song of T.M. Carlson


This is chaos
This is shocking
This is bizarre
This is scary
This is a lie
This is a racist lie
This is a grotesque and filthy lie
This is the most deranged story in history
*
This is pure absurdity
This is true insanity
This is hilariously idiotic
This is insultingly ridiculous
This is one of the worst stories of our time
This is the cruelest thing any president has ever done
This is what the collapse of civilization looks like
This is a disaster
*
This is the road to chaos and collapse
This is nuts and no one seems to care
We’re watching civilization collapse in real time
You are watching the death of the future of our country
Why does no one in Washington consider this a crisis?
What the hell is going on here?
There is only one word to describe this
This is dark

*
It’s hard to believe this is real
It’s hard to believe this is happening
It’s hard to overstate what a momentous change this is
This is worse than we thought
We are led by buffoons; everything they touch turns to chaos
They won’t admit they are wrong and don’t care what you think.

*
They are hoarding baby formula
This is horrible for all of us.
This is a middle finger in your face
This is why they are attacking Queen Elizabeth II
This is an effort to degrade the country
This is a clear indication of things unraveling
This is the behavior of a failed state

This is all totally pointless and I quit.
Click to expand...
Quit?
 
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