A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on
the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and
everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we
couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new
penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000
an inch."
The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many
inches you want. But understand that you have been married for over
thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your
wife. If you had five inches before and get nine inches now she might
be a bit put out. If you had nine inches before and you decide to
only invest in five inches now, she might be disappointed. It's
important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision." The
man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your
wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a
decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite counter tops."