Tell Your Best Joke

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Saw a UB40 tribute act called ‘WD40’ last night.

They were a bit rusty at first but were like a well oiled machine by the end.
 
"During my check-up I asked the Doctor, 'Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?'

He replied, 'I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.'

I said, 'I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense.'

He replied, 'Neither do I. My thermometer just broke.'
 
Overheard two ladies talking......

One said, 'I'm getting a boob job.'

The other said, 'Well, I'm getting my asshole bleached.'

The first one looked at her surprised and said, 'I just can't picture your husband as a blonde.'
 
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