Tell Your Best Joke

466085102_122113655384416433_2892286044949827073_n.jpg
 
A few days after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Bar Harbor man answered his door to find two grim-faced Harbor Master officers.
"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife,".
"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.
One officer said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news"!
Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."
The officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."
"Oh no!" exclaimed Flynn. What could possibly be the good news?"
The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic Lobster’s that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 60's, and we feel you are entitled to a share of the catch."
Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"
The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
 
A man walks into a small curio shop in a backwater country , looking for interesting or unusual artifacts. He sees a bronze statue of a rat that catches his eye – it is oddly attractive, considering what it represents.

The man asks the shopkeeper how much he wants for the bronze rat and the shopkeeper said he could have it for ten dollars, or for a hundred dollars if he wanted the story that goes with it. The man gives the shopkeeper ten dollars and tells him that he can keep the story.

As the man walks down the street with his purchase, he hears a rustling behind him and turns to see a couple of rats following him. He picks up his pace and the rats do too, but now there are four of them. Soon he is running as fast as he can run and there are hundreds of rats gaining on him. About then he comes to a canal and clamors up a light pole, tossing the bronze rat into the canal as he climbs the pole. To his amazement the rats follow the bronze rat into the canal and they all drown.

Somewhat shaken, the man makes his way back to the curio shop. The shopkeeper smiles when the man comes in and says “Now I suppose you want the story”.

The man says “No, I don’t care about the story – I just wanted to see if you happened to have a bronze statue of a lawyer…”
 
Back
Top