Tell Your Best Joke
- Thread starter Stizzla
- Start date
Newf
Crew Member
A Blonde Lady failed the written Driving Test 4 times.
At the Fifth attempt, she was determined to pass:
But the test had the same question. "You are driving at 100 mph. On your right is a wall, on your left is a cliff. On the road you see an Old Man and a Young Man. What will you hit?
The Woman walked up to the Examiner and said. "I've answered this question all four ways, Wall, Cliff's, Old Man and Young Man, yet I failed all Four times. How is this possible?
What am I supposed to hit?"
The Examiner replied. "The Brakes!"
At the Fifth attempt, she was determined to pass:
But the test had the same question. "You are driving at 100 mph. On your right is a wall, on your left is a cliff. On the road you see an Old Man and a Young Man. What will you hit?
The Woman walked up to the Examiner and said. "I've answered this question all four ways, Wall, Cliff's, Old Man and Young Man, yet I failed all Four times. How is this possible?
What am I supposed to hit?"
The Examiner replied. "The Brakes!"
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
ship happens
Crew Member
Sea Chaser
Crew Member
Newf
Crew Member
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy".
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy".
RiverBoy
Well-Known Member
I can relate with the french and the irish but my wife definitely doesn’t call me tonto…
BigBoat
Crew Member
Bumper sticker spotted on a car in Boston:
JESUS SAVES !
...and Esposito scores on the rebound
Newf
Crew Member
Nearly Became A Doctor
> When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance
> exam to go to Medical School.
> One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters PNEIS
> into the name of an important human body part which is most
> useful when erect.
> Those who answered spine are doctors today.
The rest of us are sending jokes.
> When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance
> exam to go to Medical School.
> One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters PNEIS
> into the name of an important human body part which is most
> useful when erect.
> Those who answered spine are doctors today.
The rest of us are sending jokes.
Rain City
Crew Member
I miss this kind of humor.
As do I, when the pandemic began I started a daily cartoon email to my pals around the world. It was very beneficial for my mental health and brought a laugh and a feeling of community to those in the group. No one knows who is in the group because it is a a blind CC .
I try and share one or two here without overwhelming this thread. I would like to thanks this group for posting some fantastic cartoons over the last few years that I have shared.
The rules, I imposed on what I posted were no politics, sexist, or what our parents would have thought as dirty. Recently, my wife had some of her pals over and I was censored for in a loving way for "mansplaining." Of course I did a whole list of mansplanning cartoons just for them.
Math jokes, puns, and venn diagram jokes are dear to my heart.
