Tell Your Best Joke
- Thread starter Stizzla
- Start date
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
barkerfam
Well-Known Member
I SOOOO wish I could do that to some of the contractors I've hired!
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
Aquaholic
Crew Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S butt OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S butt.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST butt IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS butt FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER butt IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's butt and just cover your own !!!
You'll be a lot happier and live longer!
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S butt OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S butt.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST butt IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS butt FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER butt IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's butt and just cover your own !!!
You'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Capt_Ed
Crew Member
Good song
Aquaholic
Crew Member
It was banned on some radio stations as the Beatles were accused of referencing LSD.
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny bre*sts Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger bo*bies”
She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew terrific D-cup bo*bs
One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realised she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely bo*bs if she didn"t recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger bo*bies”
A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith"s?"
"Why, yes I am... How did you know?"
He leaned closer, winked and whispered, "Hickory Dickory Dock
She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew terrific D-cup bo*bs
One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realised she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely bo*bs if she didn"t recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger bo*bies”
A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith"s?"
"Why, yes I am... How did you know?"
He leaned closer, winked and whispered, "Hickory Dickory Dock
Newf
Crew Member
Gun Control
It has already started at Dick's Sporting Goods.
When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little more clear.
It has already started at Dick's Sporting Goods.
When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little more clear.
