Tell Your Best Joke

[Bill 310]

 

[Bill 310]

I just heard that the company that makes yard sticks will not be making them any longer.

 

[John Ingram]

View attachment 123402

And also very incredibly hard to litter train

 

[JWS]

Q

 

[Bill 310]

There are no divorce courts at the North Pole.

So, when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.

They're great for separating independent Clauses.

 

[Bill 310]

 

[Bill 310]

 

[agentaqua]

 

[agentaqua]

View attachment 123412View attachment 123413

 

[Bill 310]

 

[Sir Reel]

 

[Bill 310]

My dog ate an entire string of Christmas Festoon(*) bulbs.

Thankfully, my Vet removed them.

My dog's delighted.

* "Festoon" means a hanging decoration, so they're basically string lights with big bulbs, creating a lovely draped look.

 

[Newf]

Last year, I quit my job, because my boss was an idiot.
Now, I’m self employed.
My boss is still an idiot.

 

[Bill 310]

 

[Bill 310]

 

[Bill 310]

 

[Bill 310]

 

[sly_karma]

View attachment 123465

... but hearing Last Christmas is still Whamageddon.

 

[Bill 310]

 

[Bill 310]