Tell Your Best Joke
- Thread starter Stizzla
- Start date
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
IronNoggin
Well-Known Member
A wife comes home early and walks into the bedroom—only to find her husband in bed with a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she is furious.
“You disrespectful pig!” she yells. “How dare you do this to me—your faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!
”The husband panics. “Wait, wait—please, just let me explain!”
“Fine,” she snaps. “Say whatever you want. It’ll be the last thing you ever say to me!”
He takes a deep breath and begins:
“Well… I was getting into the car after work when I saw this young woman. She looked so sad and helpless that I took pity on her when she asked for a ride. She was thin, dirty, and told me she hadn’t eaten in three days.
“So I brought her home and heated up the enchiladas I made for you last night—the ones you wouldn’t eat because you said they’d make you gain weight. She ate them instantly.
“She needed a shower, so I let her clean up. While she was washing, I noticed her clothes were full of holes, so I threw them out.
“She didn’t have anything to wear, so I gave her those designer jeans you haven’t worn in years because they’re ‘too tight.’ Then I gave her that fancy underwear I bought you for our anniversary—the ones you said I had no taste picking out.
“I also gave her the blouse your sister gave you that you never wear just to spite her… and those expensive boutique boots you won’t touch because a coworker has the same pair.
”He stops to catch his breath.“And then,” he continues, “when I walked her to the door, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said…‘Please… do you have anything else your wife doesn’t use?’”
“You disrespectful pig!” she yells. “How dare you do this to me—your faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!
”The husband panics. “Wait, wait—please, just let me explain!”
“Fine,” she snaps. “Say whatever you want. It’ll be the last thing you ever say to me!”
He takes a deep breath and begins:
“Well… I was getting into the car after work when I saw this young woman. She looked so sad and helpless that I took pity on her when she asked for a ride. She was thin, dirty, and told me she hadn’t eaten in three days.
“So I brought her home and heated up the enchiladas I made for you last night—the ones you wouldn’t eat because you said they’d make you gain weight. She ate them instantly.
“She needed a shower, so I let her clean up. While she was washing, I noticed her clothes were full of holes, so I threw them out.
“She didn’t have anything to wear, so I gave her those designer jeans you haven’t worn in years because they’re ‘too tight.’ Then I gave her that fancy underwear I bought you for our anniversary—the ones you said I had no taste picking out.
“I also gave her the blouse your sister gave you that you never wear just to spite her… and those expensive boutique boots you won’t touch because a coworker has the same pair.
”He stops to catch his breath.“And then,” he continues, “when I walked her to the door, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said…‘Please… do you have anything else your wife doesn’t use?’”
