Neighbors..........The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Dave S

Active Member
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I had a crazy old guy living next door to me once. His name was Bing, he introduced himself to me as "Bing Crosby back from the dead."

Bing had memory issues and this is a conversation we had at least 50 times....

Bing: "your daughter is lovely"
Me: "Bing, that's my wife not my daughter"
Bing: "You dirty old man"
;)

Also, he would often go out for a drive late at night, it was frightening that he had a car. If he didn't go for a drive, he had a table saw in garage he used to run and we could hear him sawing things up. My wife (not to be confused as my daughter) used to be concerned by that and ask me "what the hell is he sawing up out there?" I had no answer. :eek:

One time a buddy was over and we were standing in my front yard having a beer. Bing comes heading over to see what's up. Being forgetful and all, I guess he had been in the can for a leak and forgot to button himself up. As he was heading towards us we noticed his fly was open and little Bing was hanging out for all to see. So we stood around and had a beer and nobody mentioned a thing. LOL

Bing's long dead and gone now but we talk of him often and still wonder what he was sawing up.
 
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a friend of mine has a neighbor and they have a barking dog and my friend work sift work and the dog barks all day when they are not at home so my friend confronts them on it and says your dog barks constantly will your at work and I'm trying to sleep, they say it's not there dog that's barking and he must be confused with another dog, so one day when he had enough of the barking dog he phones his neighbor up at work and say's this is what I listen to all f ing day and sticks the phone out the window, that is the last time the dog was out when they weren't at home
 
I had a crazy old guy living next door to me once. His name was Bing, he introduced himself to me as "Bing Crosby back from the dead."

Bing had memory issues and this is a conversation we had at least 50 times....

Bing: "your daughter is lovely"
Me: "Bing, that's my wife not my daughter"
Bing: "You dirty old man"
;)

Also, he would often go out for a drive late at night, it was frightening that he had a car. If he didn't go for a drive, he had a table saw in garage he used to run and we could hear him sawing things up. My wife (not to be confused as my daughter) used to be concerned by that and ask me "what the hell is he sawing up out there?" I had no answer. :eek:

One time a buddy was over and we were standing in my front yard having a beer. Bing comes heading over to see what's up. Being forgetful and all, I guess he had been in the can for a leak and forgot to button himself up. As he was heading towards us we noticed his fly was open and little Bing was hanging out for all to see. So we stood around and had a beer and nobody mentioned a thing. LOL

Bing's long dead and gone now but we talk of him often and still wonder what he was sawing up.

That's Too Funny! LOL
 
In my last house I had a crazy neighbor who would call the police anytime I was outside doing something in my yard. I had easily 15-20 visits from the police during the course of a few months. Once I was inside watching a movie with my wife when the police knocked on the door as I was aparently having a party (sunday night). I learned a LOT about our pathetic laws regarding noise complaints and "curfew". The neighbor called the police because my dog barked at him through the fence once he recorded the incident, I couldnt prove if he inticed my dog.... I also had tennants who lived in my suite; they were good guys. One day they were throwing a football in the street. The neighbor was pissed off because the ball landed on his lawn... he decided to come out and begin to shout at my tennants. the guys told him to mind his own business (as politely as 2 guys in the early 20's can), well the a$$hole recorded my tennants yelling at him. He also recorded me on my patio with my parents having dinner... All considered noise violations. My parents were in their late 60's and are extremely quiet.

The result... I was sued by the corporation because he had logged so many complaints. It did not matter what the complaints were, what time of day they happened or even if they were justified. I had to prove I didnt do any of these things, which, I could not. Just so happened they were non- events (in my eye and of those surrounding me). But I had to plead guilty. Cost me over $15,000 before giving up.

Turned out the a$$holes wife worked at the supreme court and had friends in all the right places. The guy clearly had no life. I personally think he was jealous of me as I had a nice boat, truck, cars and was years younger than him...

I had never done anything to the guy. He just had it out for me I guess. I believe in Karma and hope he gat paid back in full as I moved out shortly after the lawsuit.
 
I have this new neighbor. Her and her daughter. THe mom is a MILF, but an incredible BIT@H! Ive owned this house for over 10 years and she moved in next door as a renter. I plan on having some loud backyard parties this summer in hopes she moves out! The daughter is nice though. Would suck to have a mom like that.
 
I have this new neighbor. Her and her daughter. THe mom is a MILF, but an incredible BIT@H! Ive owned this house for over 10 years and she moved in next door as a renter. I plan on having some loud backyard parties this summer in hopes she moves out! The daughter is nice though. Would suck to have a mom like that.

Yah I will vouch for her being a complete *****! When you and your buddies were loading that motor into the back of our truck back in April. Who needs enemies with neighbors like her eh?
 
I have a prostitute living next door living with her parents... One of her two children is a drug dealer who also lives in the house. One house that services all the lowlifes in town. I and every one of my neighbors would just love to see the activities stopped. RCMP are there many times a week. Two of the members in the home have been in the local paper as the most want picture by Crime Stoppers. What does one do????
 
I have a prostitute living next door living with her parents... One of her two children is a drug dealer who also lives in the house. One house that services all the lowlifes in town. I and every one of my neighbors would just love to see the activities stopped. RCMP are there many times a week. Two of the members in the home have been in the local paper as the most want picture by Crime Stoppers. What does one do????

Get all your buddies to chip in and head over?

Lorne
 
We had a retired neighbour, Ray, that moved here from London, England. He confused our neighbourhood with being up-scale. He would come over - always drank my beer - to complain about Jeff's gravel truck, occasionally in the driveway or the team bus that Ron would park in his driveway, now-and-again. I would tease him saying "Ray - it's a working class neigbourhood, buddy - get a job."

We hired a friend's gorgeous 19 year old daughter to house sit for a week, one summer. When we get back home at 9:00 p.m., Ray comes over to report a party the night before. He says this girl and 3 friends were out in the hot tub, drinking beer, smoking pot and laughing - NUDE!!! "I was about to call the Mounties!" Ray exclaims. I said it was just girls having some fun before going back to college. Well, he snuffed, "How would I like to be woken to that!"

"Ray" I said, "If I was woken to that, I'd think I'd died and gone to heaven. If it was not a dream, I'd have jumped in with them and called the media."
 
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We had a retired neirgbour, Ray, that moved here from London, England. he confused our neighbourhood with being up-scale. He would come over - always drank my beer - and complain about Jeff's gravel truck, ocassionally in the driveway or the team bus that Ron would park in his driveway now-and-again. I would tease him saying "Ray - it's a working class neigbourhood, buddy - get a job."

We hired a friend's gorgeous 19 year old daughter to house sit for a week one summer. When we get back home at 9:00 p.m., Ray comes over to report a party the night before. He says this girl and 3 friends were out in the hot tub, drinking beer, smoking pot and laughing - NUDE!!! "I was about to call the Mounties!" Ray exclaims. I said it was just girls having some fun before going back to college. Well, he snuffed, "How would I like to be woken to that!"

"Ray" I said, "If I was woken to that, I'd think I'd died, gone to heaven. If it was not a dream, I'd have jumped in with them and called the media."
Wow.Can i move in next door. Three naked young hotties in in the jacuzzi smoking pot!Wahoooooooooo.
 
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