Dear Abby

[Klob]

Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs are phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
Around midnight, I decided to hide next to the garage behind my boat so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment, crouching behind the boat, that I noticed some hairline cracks in my gelcoat, right were the hull meets the transom of my boat.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take the boat into the yard for repairs?
Signed,
Concerned Boater

 

[scott craven]

 

[SerengetiGuide]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Best joke I've heard in ages!!

www.serengetifishingcharters.com

*NEW VIDEO*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlEzuNC59ck

 

[Karma-Kazi]

I wouldent attempt to fix that yourself. Probably take it to the repair shop. []

 

[beemer]

good one Klob. A word of advice though , never let another man fill your cracks.

 

[bacon]

http://www.salmonfest.ca
Caught that bad boy alone
in a 14 foot aluminum

 

[Charter Tofino]

Awsome.

 

[the fog ducker]

Old , but still funny...

An old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish.

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it!

Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some Pusssy willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls the old man, "wait while I get my hat!!"

FD...

kosi99@hotmail.com

 

[happy hooker]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh .... .......


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"Now… Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box honey."

22' Hewescraft Searunner

 

[GLG]

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because
I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so
it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
world to think of crazy things to tell you.

 

[cedarman]

Fishing must be slow.

In saying that some funny stuff guys. Oh and I would get a pro to fix the gell coat