Killer Farts!

stones93

stones93

Well-Known Member
I have no life so I decided to read and article in the paper about farting. The funniest part was at the end.......

But can a fart kill? Researchers at Simon Fraser University won their Ig Noble Prize by researching the habits of Atlantic and Pacific herring. They were studying whether herring could hear the high frequency sounds emitted by approaching killer whales. But during this research they discovered that herring produce fast repetitive ticks, small farts, as a means of communicating with each other.

Since herring have no dinner parties to attend they can pass tiny farts any time they wish to do so. But there's a problem. Killer whales can hear these expulsions and provide a speedy end to herring. So the moral is, farts can kill.


Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Si...reated+equal/6688841/story.html#ixzz1wOMCSyyN
 
I wonder if salmon can hear this too! I may have to patent "farting lures". Maybe that is the scent that salmon are attracted to? Maybe thats why Herring are oily (fart gone wrong, aka sharted!)
 
Uh, I have a "killer fart" story for ya.
Not fishing related though.

First, as a Warehouseman I generally didn't ride in a Crummy much but when I first started to work for BCFP at Renfrew it was on the Forestry Crew. In those days most companies had their own forestry crews that planted trees, spaced plantations and generally did what needed to be done in those areas. Pretty well all contracted out nowadays but not so back then.
Anyway, when you live in a logging camp, work like a dog every day and then eat like a horse in the cookhouse every day too you will sometimes achieve that state where even the tiniest and most silent of your farts will absolutely gag a maggot.
I found myself in possession of a number of such killer farts one morning and, as fate would have it, I ended up sitting right above the heater with its blower fan in one of the front seats.
I became aware of my power upon releasing the first silent wonder, which immediately spread throughout the confines of the crummy.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT??" was the first response I recall, quickly followed by much gagging and choking.
I, of course, sat silently with as innocent a look as possible on my face.
Inside I was peeing myself with laughter, but I didn't reveal anything at all.
A couple of miles passed and the crummy had aired out some when I released my second little pfftt.
I was most gratified when the reaction was again almost immediate and again consisted of much wailing, gagging, opening of windows and protests against whomever had passed this horrible gaseous mixture from some dark place.
Naturally I went along with attempting to shame out the perp and called long and loud for his head.....or some part of his body....all the while feigning innocence of course.
My third contribution to the morning ride led to one of the guys pulling the stop cord while another pounded on the front crummy window while yelling for the driver to stop.
He stopped and we all piled out amidst much cursing and accusations etc. etc. I never copped that it was me and tried to blame everyone else of course, so nobody really knew who it was in the end.

I have rarely felt so powerful. LOL

But it's true, I once stunk up a crummy so bad with three silent little killer farts that the crew had to stop and get out to get fresh air.

Good times.


Take care.
 
Human wise,actually farts have been known to kill.As I recall, a TV (wierd ways to die?) show documented the death of a rather large,shut-in gent.. after a lengthy night of flatulence,he sucumbed to the effects of mathane gas.Poor ventilation was also cited as a contributing cause of death.
 
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I see I have stumbled into the weird part of the internet again. :rolleyes:
 
How many divorces are caused by night farts? LOL
 
That story is priceless, Dave H. You had me nearly pissing myself with laughter!! Sometimes they can indeed be killers.
 
I have a deal with two buddies I fish with; "the day I don't laugh at a fart you should kill me". ;)



Farts are the funniest thing on the planet in my mind......sounds and smells. :D
 
Oh My God, can you talk to my wife and please explain that FACT to her!!!!
Pippen said:
I have a deal with two buddies I fish with; "the day I don't laugh at a fart you should kill me". ;)



Farts are the funniest thing on the planet in my mind......sounds and smells. :D
Click to expand...
 
I think that this has to get the vote for.

1. Most intellectual post on SPBC
2. Most informative
3. #1 In the category of: things you never knew category
4. Potty humour....proof it's always funny.


This discussion makes me tell the story of my buddy who is now known as "Turtlle Head Rieder!!".
I think, I'll save that for a post about "turttle heading salmon!"
Ok.. I promise, last drink tonight :p:p:cool:


stones93 said:
Oh My God, can you talk to my wife and please explain that FACT to her!!!!
Click to expand...
 
Rule number one..... you can't vote for your own post...


homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif
 
Dave H, that is a great story, took me a while to finish reading it, couldn't see (laughing too hard). Not only deadly but blinding also:p:D.
 
Thanks Dave...laughter is indeed the best medicine...and I've got a case of the giggles...f$&@ farts are funny!

I've got my 3 year old trained to give me a high five in congratulations for my better specimens...wife loves that
 
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