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Good things worth bragging about
Now, what were we discussing before being so rudely interrupted
? ? ?
Well, I suppose it really doesn't matter, so allow me instead
to issue a public apology to the SportfishingBC team and all
my readers (or reader?). Like a bad appointment-keeper, a
no-show for too many months because of several sudden outbreaks
of PPN (Purely Personal Nature). And to the guy who did ask,
NO, I was NOT off in Newfoundland drinking their Moose Juice!
That is a good explanation, but regretfully not mine. And,
no, I did not rush away to Miami to see Dave Barry's Sophie.
That wonderful humorist and the South's answer to Jimmy Cannon,
new pappa Dave took his youngest -- and onlyiest -- to Minnesota
this summer. I suppose the trip was necessary because everybody
in Florida read about Sophie and, undoubtedly, saw the pictures.
Barry detected Minnesota as new bragging territory.
I am not picking on Dave because I like Barry's writing.
Matter of fact, I am very often jealous. Almost always jealous,
if you really must know. Still, there is something Dave must
understand. If it isn't theirs, other people really "ain't
interested" in child, children, or grandchildren that do not
belong to them. I found that out when my first -- and my onlyiest
-- was five and the city editor sent a scathing memo to the
Sports Dept. with a white flag. Please, the note begged, no
more items to the paper's tidbit column about the cute things
Fedoruk's offspring has done. The Tidbit Editor wanted to
surrender.
If Barry had known the Rules of Parental Pride, it would
have saved Barry his unnerving trip to the Forbidden Frontier
called Minnesota, "a state located near, or possibly inside,
Canada." That statement inspires another serving of advice
to the Good Humor Guy: Dave should consider apologizing to
Minnesota. The Gopher State has fresh water coming out of
everywhere, and one of these days Florida may beg Minnesota
for some unsalted water to keep the oranges healthy.
I know about Florida, and am not picking on the Gator country.
Trust me. I had a good friend in Apopka, who brought his lefthanded
golf sticks in '66 to Victoria, accepted my invitation to
go salmon fishing, and popped off three chinook salmon weighing
27, 23 and 19 pounds in about 90 minutes. Even in those days
-- that was "pretty good fishing."
Also, Tom Melville, arguably one of the best Sports Editors
ever to work in Canada, regularly wintered in Key Largo and
constantly deciphered Florida life and resources for me. Because
of that and other help, I am proud of my knowledge of the
States.
Listen, on a good day and perhaps with the help of a couple
of ginkgo biloba tablets, I might name 47 or 48 of the 50
states. My breakdown is in New England, usually with Vermont,
Delaware and, at times, Rhode Island. Those lapses occur because
all are so tiny they would surely get lost if they moved from
New England to set up as the 501st, 502nd and 503rd shops
in the Mall of Americas that attracted Barry to Minnesota.Barry
hailed the Mall as "the ultimate American vacation experience"
without mentioning the many good fishing holes in Minnesota.
Does not seem fair.
I will not stop reading Barry, but I hope Sophie grows up
to become an ardent fishing person and reprimands her daddy
for such an oversight.
Early in July, just as summer salmon fishing was getting
into the exciting stage in my area, my Island and my town
drew prominent play on successive days to entice tourists,
and perhaps get in on the good ocean fishing experiences.
The sixth annual "World's Best Awards" article in Travel &
Leisure magazine ranked Vancouver Island as the best island
in the continental United States/Canada zone. It also made
the world's top ten list, placing third behind Maui and Kauai.
Mall of America, presumably, is without an island.
Travel & Leisure did not detail the goodness of salmon fishing
in North Pacific waters around my island.The article did,
however, give a nod to Skutz Falls and the Cowichan River
known throughout the angling world for its extraordinary trout,
steelhead and salmon fishing.
Next day's papers proclaimed Victoria, the "real" Garden
City of Canada, as the fittest centre in the nation. Statistics
Canada's analysis of its fitness poll, ironically, rated St.
Catharines, Ont., the nation's "other" Garden City, as the
community with the fattest population. Thirty-six per cent
of Victoria's adult population is active, and that is nearly
double the national average. A whopping 57.3 per cent of St.
Kitt's residents are overweight. Since I have found fishing
to be extremely healthful and invigorating, I must presume
the Ontario bunch does not fish with the enthusiasm, or expertise,
as us skinny types in Victoria.
Minnesota is a nice place and, as admitted at the beginning,
I enjoy Dave Barry's work. However, there are other "ultimate
American vacation experiences" than a whopping enclosed mall.
Such a place is Vancouver Island. Dave acknowledges the average
Minnesota winter "lasts an average age of 17 months" but someone
should invite him to this neck of the woods. About one-third
of Vancouver Island is below the 49th parallel which, for
much of the international border, separates Canada from the
US. He can consider Victoria, which has a climate that prompts
many to consider this area "Canada's Mediteranean," a delightful
corner of Unfrozen America.
Dave, we fish 364 days and golf for 353 days of the year.
The 11 non-duffing days are to let the fairway grass regain
its strength and color. It is not a weather thing. The 11
days include Christmas and New Year's Days, golfable many
days but are a logical time for the local courses to rest
because all serious golfers are away in Palm Springs, Scotsdale,
Maui or those other outside ovens for the holiday season.
Would I lie to someone I respect? Oh, yea, Sophie would love
it here.
Ernie Fedoruk retired in 1996 after a 47-year journalism career as an outdoors and sports columnist, has just completed
14 years as director/officer of the Outdoor Writers of Canada,
also was director of the Northwest Outdoor Writers Association
for 11 years. His passion is fishing – to find and to
protect – and insists his greatest contribution as a
conservationist is incompetence.
Ernie Fedoruk Freelance Journalist
1867 Neil Street Victoria, BC, V8R 3C6, Canada
phone:(250)592-4438 fax:(250)592-7090
e-mail: efedoruk@islandnet.com
To purchase Ernie Fedoruk's column for publication, please
contact efedoruk@islandnet.com
For previous articles by Ernie Fedoruk, click on the links
below:
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